I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Say something about gay babies.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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