When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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