i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
