I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
