That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
