the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
