it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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