i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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