Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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