dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
