Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
