BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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