i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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