im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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