i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she smelled like a LAN party
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
