and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
