I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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