Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
