Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
