I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
