I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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