I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
