Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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