Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
