Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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