T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
