Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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