so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
