I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
