so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
