dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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