she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
