You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
