If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Randomize
