she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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