I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
