She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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