I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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