her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
how does that bad decision feel?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
