Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
