they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
