I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
