We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
