We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I have post one night stand depression
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
