Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
