that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
