also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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