Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
