you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
