Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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